For those who know me they know that I hate to dance. Like I really hate to dance. I'm the girl that skipped stake dances in high school because she felt uncomfortable dancing. I'm the girl that refused to dance at her brother’s wedding even when people came and tried to pull her onto the dance floor. I always preferred to be on the side watching rather than being involved. So, what did I do to be the "other"? Well I went to a BYU swing dance club, which makes me the 'other' because by attending my cultural capital was greatly reduced as I knew almost nothing of the swing dancing culture. So, I went in completely alone with only my two left feet. This made my social capital non-existent as well because I did not have a connection or aid to help me understand what was happening. And it was one of the must uncomfortable things I have ever done in my life. I knew no one and I felt so out of place in the unfamiliar environment. I was not sure what I was supposed to do so I just kind of followed along and pretended to know what I was doing. I attempted to learn the steps to a line dance but within moments I forgot them all. So, when it came time to do the dance all together I just tried to make it look like I was "dancing" the right way but really, I was just trying to make sure I was moving in the same direction as everyone else. I was doing everything in my power to give the appearance of knowing what I was doing when really, I was completely lost. I avoided making eye contact with people during the whole thing because I felt so out of place and I felt like the people around me were looking at me funny and questioning why I was there. Everyone around me was so happy, enjoying themselves and yelling and clapping along to the music while all I did was follow along quietly. I just wanted to be invisible and blend in with the crowd. In my experience with the club it did not have an inclusive pedagogy that made it easy for me and others that were new comers to feel comfortable and feel a part. At no point did I feel like I could create a culturally responsive pedagogy because I did not feel like I could ever learn enough about the culture to understand it and react to it and in some way become a part of that culture.
This experience made me realize a lot about the implications for students in my future classroom who are experiencing school as a "foreign place." For me in this experience I just wanted to get out as fast as possible. And as a kid in school that would mean not really paying attention to lessons or things that are going on. All they will think about would be getting out of school and being somewhere they felt comfortable again. Also, I wanted people to think that I knew what was going on and that I knew the steps and the same would go for a kid in the classroom. They would want it to seem that they were following along, that they need no special attention to understand. But, they will have no idea what is going on in the classroom. As I was dancing I just wanted to blend in but at one point being clumsy me I stepped on the foot of the girl next to me and by doing so I felt hugely embarrassed and I just wanted to give up and leave. I imagine that a kid who thinks the classroom is a "foreign place" would think the same thing if they messed up in class, gave a wrong answer, or did not know how to do something. They would feel that it is impossible for them to learn and to be able to do assignments. They would feel that all of this would always leave them on the outside without a way to blend in with their peers. Just like I feel like I will never be able to line dance. And that is something that no child should feel. To often we take our privilege for granted and we forget that others have not received the same inheritance of privilege as we have. As teachers this is so important to remember because many of our students will not have inherited the privileges that we have and, so we must be willing to work with them and adapt our teaching to their needs. This experience really opened my eyes to what it means to be the "other" and how important it is for me as a teacher to work so that none of my students ever feel that they are the "other."
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